Recent research into how we make decisions reveals some startling findings that a brain scan can predict what we will choose 6 seconds before we consciously make the decision. So does that mean we are making most of our decisions unconsciously? You decide…
Category: Health & Wellness Page 2 of 4
Feelings are important to our experience of living as human beings. It is said that all mammals have some feelings; however, as a human being, we have the widest range of feelings. Beyond the basic triad of pain, pleasure and numb, we have a lot of nuances to describe how we feel at any given moment — about everything we experience.
When it comes to making decisions, even the most rational, seemingly emotionless decision-makers are, unbeknownst to them, influenced by their feelings — even if they are not consciously aware of them. Even no feeling is a feeling.
Because of past things that have happened to us (both real and imagined) we tend to have conflicting emotions, as well as stacks of misplaced emotions, that get projected onto items, areas, subjects and people that they do not belong to.
Consider the chart below: Seven Types of People. As a general rule most people tend to spend most of their time in one primary zone or level. Yes, from day to day, week to week, a person can change and rise up and down this scale. In other words when a person changes for the better, they move up. The opposite is also true: when they change for the worse, they move down.
Understanding this chart and the other charts of the Optima Zones allows you to predict the results people will get from life, career, business and relationships. It also allows you to identify where you are at, so you can change what you need to change in order to improve your results.
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Have you ever made a mistake, then a split-second later felt the sting of dread, shame, and disapproval followed by a critical inner voice that judges and finds fault with what you have done?
Both the feeling and the voice are manifestations of what is known as your “Inner Critic.” This article explores what is an Inner Critic, how it works, where it came from and how to free oneself once and for all of this sabotaging mechanism.
Let’s explore the definition in more detail:
- Situated inside, further in or internal.
- Spiritual, mental or emotional.
- Private and not expressed or discernible.
- A person who disapproves and expresses their unfavorable view of something.
- A person who judges and evaluates or analyzes literary or artistic works, dramatic or musical performances.
- A person who tends too readily to make trivial, or harsh judgments; faultfinder.
- Internal, private voice that disapproves, judges, evaluates and finds fault saying that he or she is bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty and not good enough.
If you are like most people, your feelings about criticism range from mild dislike, strong dislike to outright hatred for the criticism and the person giving it.
There are two main types of criticism: constructive and destructive. The difference between the two comes down to the intention of the critic. If the critic intends to improve something and delivers their criticism with this in mind, then the criticism is often (not always) received differently than when the intention of the critic is to minimize, tear down or destroy.
Criticism is also known as feedback.
The problem for most people is that they have experienced so much destructive criticism that they can’t tell the difference between the two types. So, they end up reacting to all criticism/feedback and writing it off automatically.
All successful people, public figures, and leaders are subject to both types of criticism. Learning to differentiate between the two types, and allowing oneself to benefit from the criticism/feedback – without taking it personally – is an art and skill developed over time.
More insidious and destructive than any critic you may encounter at work or at home is the one you take with you on a permanent basis: the one inside your head that is known as the “INNER CRITIC”.
The Inner Critic is that part of yourself that criticizes everything you do, doubts what you do, doesn’t think you are good enough, gives you negative thoughts, is cynical, is never satisfied, and is a perfectionist.
Another term for the Inner Critic is the Inner Villain that plays a destructive game with yourself. Once you have disengaged from dramas with other people, you then have the task of disengaging from your own Villain that is making you a Victim to yourself.
As long as you are busy blaming other people for your feelings and circumstances, your Inner Critic remains invisible to you. So it stands to reason that when you cease blaming others, you will then become aware of your own self-blame, and inner criticism. It is your inner criticism that has you blaming others in the first place.
If you are sensitive to others blaming or criticizing you, then you have a well-developed Inner Critic. It is the Inner Critic that cares what others think about you. It is the Inner Critic that has you feeling hurt by what others say or do.
Once you have dealt with your Inner Critic, you will be less at the effect of other people, and more at cause over all areas of your life.
If you have a fear of rejection, this is a fear born directly from the essence of your Inner Critic.
Technically, the Inner Critic is your shadow self that is you rejecting you. It is found in the depths of your subconscious mind. The opposite of your Inner Critic is self-acceptance, which is called your Inner Cheerleader.
When your Inner Critic is beating you up for a mistake you made, you become unsavory to other people. They feel that you are negative and perhaps toxic, and therefore will be inclined to reject you. Your Inner Critic seduces the worst behavior from people, as it only leaves space for a harmful act or nasty comment. You might as well have a sign on your forehead that says, “Beat me up, reject me.”
It takes a very clear person to see this and not reject you or beat you up. This takes a lot of energy and isn’t fun. So you are no fun to be around (and you can’t stand yourself either.)
So now that we know what the Inner Critic is, how do we deal with it? How do we disengage from it?
The Inner Critic never goes away totally. It always remains in the background… always, and ever listening. So we can disengage from it but never get rid of it totally.
How Do You Disengage Your Inner Critic?
Well, the first step is to become consciously aware of when your Inner Critic is at play. Once you are aware of it, your task is to accept your Inner Critic. Once you have fully accepted your Inner Critic, you can then accept yourself.
Self-acceptance is the key.
Because two things cannot occupy the same space, the antidote to the Inner Critic is the Inner Cheerleader. So, when you hear negative self-talk from the inner critic, thank it for sharing and counter with positive encouragement from your Inner Cheerleader.
If you are with another person, friend or colleague and you notice your Inner Critic is running you, and you are unable to disengage it, then the best thing to do is take time out until you have it under control. This is responsible behavior and puts you more AT CAUSE.
The ultimate solution to the Inner Critic is to Clean Slate the area. This means clearing the areas that created your Inner Critic in the first place. It begins by identifying which person from your past (or present) most closely represents the voice of your Inner Critic. For many of us, this is either our mother, father or other early childhood role model. Once you have identified the source of the voice, you can begin to heal it.
There is no quick fix to this. It is an ongoing journey that you take with yourself.
An Inner Critic Clean Slate workbook is available via the GOLDZONE Store > here
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With today’s workplaces becoming more and more about living than they are about money and finances alone, and with the pressure to infuse our companies, organizations, and professions with passion and aliveness, we must become more passionate, alive and balanced ourselves.
The challenge is how do we do this? And what will it take to unblock our passion and creativity? Ask yourself these questions:
What do I have to do to become more alive, alert, energetic and enthusiastic?
How do I inspire my team to change? How do I handle the stress caused by the fast pace of change? How do I inspire my team to take personal responsibility for their results and their failures? How do I cope with failure? How do I create a work environment that is conducive to productivity? How do I bring more of the personal assets of my people into the workplace?
Passion, aliveness, enthusiasm, and responsibility are all infused with energy and the source of this energy is LIFEFORCE.
With the pace of change accelerating at ever increasing rates, the world is becoming more and more stressful. How we cope with change and the resultant stress has a huge impact on our quality of life and our work performance.
Executive burnout is a direct result of an inability to cope and is a major cause of lost productivity, as is employee absenteeism and medical leave. Many high-performance people focus on one or two primary areas of life and neglect the other areas. This leads to imbalance, stress and unhappiness. Eventually, stress in one primary area of life will impact our performance in all areas.
Think about it… how can you be wired up in one area and not have this “creep” into other areas?
What would happen if our lives were optimized in all areas and fully integrated? What would happen to our quality of life and our performance?
Futurists commonly predict that we are moving away from separate personal and professional lives towards a life where our personal and professional lives are fully integrated.
For many of us, our lives have developed as fragmented sections or compartments. We are one way at work, and altogether different in our personal life. This leads to a split personality: the work persona and the home persona and never the twain shall meet. Our feelings get left at home, and the very fabric of what makes us human gets left out of the workplace.
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person who is faced with a fact, feeling, situation or reality that is uncomfortable or painful to accept, repeatedly rejects it, despite overwhelming evidence.
Three different types of Denial are as follows:
- “Basic Denial” is when the person outright denies the reality of an unpleasant fact, feeling, situation or reality.
- “Minimization” is when a person admits the fact, but denies how serious it is.
- “Transference” is when a person admits the facts and seriousness, but denies any responsibility and transfers responsibility to someone else.
Lack of love as a child leads to feelings of inadequacy. This leads to sensitivity to rejection as an adult.
Depression is one of the most common challenges facing individuals and businesses today. More than the blues, the overall feeling of doom can trigger some people to act irrationally. Recent studies indicate that low levels of serotonin (a brain chemical) can in part lead to an overall insensitivity to future consequences, setting off impulsive and aggressive behaviors…