Category: Health & Wellness (Page 1 of 3)
From Harvard Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, edited by Andrew John Harrison.
Ask most young people what they want from life and they will tell you money and fame. Landmark 75-year study of what actually matters reveals lessons that aren’t about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get is this:
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
Harvard’s Grant & Glueck study tracked the physical and emotional well-being of 268 male graduates from Harvard, as well as 456 poor men growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014. Multiple generations of researchers analyzed brain scans, blood samples, self-reported surveys and interactions of these men to compile their findings.
The conclusions are simple. Close relationships can make or break a person’s well-being, according to Robert Waldinger, Harvard professor of psychology and director of the center behind the study.
The study reveals the following lessons:
- Social connections are really good for us. Loneliness kills. People who are more socially connected to family, friends, and community are happier, healthier, and live longer than people who are less well connected. The experience of loneliness is toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.
- It’s the quality of your close relationships that matter. You can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, it’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship.
- Living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
- Good relationships protect our bodies and brains. Being in a securely attached relationship in your 80s is protective. The people who are in relationships where they feel they can count on the other person in times of need, memories stay sharper longer vs those who cannot, experience earlier memory decline.
The bottom line is that good, close relationships are good for our health and wellbeing.
Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we’re human. What we’d really like is a quick fix, something we can get that’ll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they’re complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends.
But hey, it is worth it!
Recent research into how we make decisions reveals some startling findings that a brain scan can predict what we will choose 6 seconds before we consciously make the decision. So does that mean we are making most of our decisions unconsciously? You decide…
Feelings are important to our experience of living as human beings. It is said that all mammals have some feelings; however, as a human being, we have the widest range of feelings. Beyond the basic triad of pain, pleasure and numb, we have a lot of nuances to describe how we feel at any given moment — about everything we experience.
When it comes to making decisions, even the most rational, seemingly emotionless decision-makers are, unbeknownst to them, influenced by their feelings — even if they are not consciously aware of them. Even no feeling is a feeling.
Because of past things that have happened to us (both real and imagined) we tend to have conflicting emotions, as well as stacks of misplaced emotions, that get projected onto items, areas, subjects and people that they do not belong to.
Consider the chart below: Seven Types of People. As a general rule most people tend to spend most of their time in one primary zone or level. Yes, from day to day, week to week, a person can change and rise up and down this scale. In other words when a person changes for the better, they move up. The opposite is also true: when they change for the worse, they move down.
Understanding this chart and the other charts of the Optima Zones allows you to predict the results people will get from life, career, business and relationships. It also allows you to identify where you are at, so you can change what you need to change in order to improve your results.
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
Have you ever made a mistake, then a split-second later felt the sting of dread, shame, and disapproval followed by a critical inner voice that judges and finds fault with what you have done?
Both the feeling and the voice are manifestations of what is known as your “Inner-Critic.” This article explores what is an Inner-Critic, how it works, where it came from and how to free oneself once and for all of this sabotaging mechanism.
Let’s explore the definition in more detail:
With today’s workplaces becoming more and more about living than they are about money and finances alone, and with the pressure to infuse our companies, organizations, and professions with passion and aliveness, we must become more passionate, alive and balanced ourselves.
The challenge is how do we do this? And what will it take to unblock our passion and creativity? Ask yourself these questions:
What do I have to do to become more alive, alert, energetic and enthusiastic?
How do I inspire my team to change? How do I handle the stress caused by the fast pace of change? How do I inspire my team to take personal responsibility for their results and their failures? How do I cope with failure? How do I create a work environment that is conducive to productivity? How do I bring more of the personal assets of my people into the workplace?
Passion, aliveness, enthusiasm, and responsibility are all infused with energy and the source of this energy is LIFEFORCE.
With the pace of change accelerating at ever increasing rates, the world is becoming more and more stressful. How we cope with change and the resultant stress has a huge impact on our quality of life and our work performance.
Executive burnout is a direct result of an inability to cope and is a major cause of lost productivity, as is employee absenteeism and medical leave. Many high-performance people focus on one or two primary areas of life and neglect the other areas. This leads to imbalance, stress and unhappiness. Eventually, stress in one primary area of life will impact our performance in all areas.
Think about it… how can you be wired up in one area and not have this “creep” into other areas?
What would happen if our lives were optimized in all areas and fully integrated? What would happen to our quality of life and our performance?
Futurists commonly predict that we are moving away from separate personal and professional lives towards a life where our personal and professional lives are fully integrated.
For many of us, our lives have developed as fragmented sections or compartments. We are one way at work, and altogether different in our personal life. This leads to a split personality: the work persona and the home persona and never the twain shall meet. Our feelings get left at home, and the very fabric of what makes us human gets left out of the workplace.
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person who is faced with a fact, feeling, situation or reality that is uncomfortable or painful to accept, repeatedly rejects it, despite overwhelming evidence.
Three different types of Denial are as follows:
- “Basic Denial” is when the person outright denies the reality of an unpleasant fact, feeling, situation or reality.
- “Minimization” is when a person admits the fact, but denies how serious it is.
- “Transference” is when a person admits the facts and seriousness, but denies any responsibility and transfers responsibility to someone else.