How to Stop Giving Other People the Remote Control to Your Life
There is a strange thing that happens when someone hurts, annoys, disappoints, ignores, betrays, criticizes or otherwise inconveniences us. We become convinced that they have made us feel the way we feel.
“He made me angry.”
“She made me feel rejected.”
“My team makes me so stressed.”
Of course, people do things that are hurtful, stupid, selfish, insensitive and, occasionally, spectacularly unhelpful. Let us not pretend otherwise. The Magic Freedom Formula is not an invitation to become a doormat with excellent emotional vocabulary.
But here is the uncomfortable part: another person’s behavior may be the trigger, yet it is rarely the original cause of the feeling that takes over your day, your relationship, your meeting, or your nervous system. When we confuse the two, we hand that person the remote control to our life. Then we call it love, leadership, loyalty, justice, standards, or “just being honest.”
That is a lot of pressure to put on a remote control.
