A Reaction is a term used to describe an adverse situation where we lose our composure, equanimity or calmness in response to a situation or event that involves unwanted feelings hijacking us. These emotions can include intense feelings of pain, sadness, fear, anger or indignation that manifests as a fixation on being “right”, can be either conscious or unconscious and are accompanied by a physiological response that can be felt most intensely in our chest or stomach.
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person who is faced with a fact, feeling, situation or reality that is uncomfortable or painful to accept, repeatedly rejects it, despite overwhelming evidence.
Three different types of Denial are as follows:
- “Basic Denial” is when the person outright denies the reality of an unpleasant fact, feeling, situation or reality.
- “Minimization” is when a person admits the fact, but denies how serious it is.
- “Transference” is when a person admits the facts and seriousness, but denies any responsibility and transfers responsibility to someone else.
One of the biggest blocks to most people stepping into personal leadership and responsibility is that they are so afraid of making mistakes that they won’t take the risk of being responsible and accountable at the same time. Most people inaccurately see responsibility as another way of laying “blame” – or finding who is “at fault” when things go wrong. Combine this with the fear of losing face, and you have people who won’t speak up – even though they know the solution!
Encouraging people to speak up requires building trust and safety. Before people will take the risk of speaking up, they need to know that they won’t be punished for expressing themselves and stating their opinions.
Leadership skills are as vital at home and in family situations as they are in the office and on teams. In fact, many people’s leadership behaviors at the office either mirrors or is the exact opposite of their leadership behavior at home. An example of the latter is the power executive who dominates everyone at the office, and when it comes to home and family matters – abdicates everything to others.
We are at the effect of anything that we abdicate… Taking responsibility means including ourselves in both work and family leadership situations.
So what is Personal Leadership? It is a term that describes an individual who takes responsibility for themselves, their contribution to the organization and their results. It’s about owning a problem and taking it on themselves to coordinate the creation of an effective solution. Like any skill – this can be learned by anyone; however, it requires a new leadership context that begins at the top and extends down throughout the levels of the organization.