Reference library exploring leadership & human performance

Tag: Havingness

The Art of Havingness: Expanding Your Capacity to Receive

A few years ago, I worked with a highly successful CEO. On paper, he had everything… wealth, recognition, family, freedom. Yet in conversation he admitted, “I just can’t enjoy it. I feel guilty when I buy things for myself. I push away compliments. Even when opportunities come my way, I find reasons to say no.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t have things. He couldn’t let himself have them.

This is the hidden barrier many of us face. We say we want love, money, peace, freedom, or recognition. But when it actually shows up… we resist. We downplay the compliment. We reject the gift. We self-sabotage the opportunity.

That invisible force has a name: Havingness.

Havingness – and the Upper Limit

Most people have an upper limit of what they feel worthy receiving. Once this upper limit is reached, they will reject or unconsciously sabotage in order to get rid of whatever it is they are receiving. You would think that receiving more would make you feel good; however, this upper limit causes us to feel worse and worse about ourselves as we receive more.

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