This movie is about deception, betrayal and delusion. Superb acting, however if you watch this movie from an educational point-of-view you will learn a lot about how some people can be deluded and the lengths they can go to for their sinister purposes (in this case possession).
The victim in this movie is seduced and manipulated through her weakness and the cost is oh-so-high!
This movie will leave you stunned by the number of lies and cover ups that Stephen Glass engaged in during his career as a reporter. The film is based on real events and also captures the high-pressure world of national political journalism.
Stephen is likable, friendly and very polite. The ultimate co-worker, who remembers everyones birthday, knows how everyone takes their coffee and is so self-deprecatingly sweet that when things start unraveling you feel sorry for him. Despite his audacious lies and deceits, you like him and wonder why everyone is being so mean. Stephen walks the fine line between good and evil so well, you watch in amazement. You feel sorry for him, you’re repulsed by him, you’re embarrassed for him…
However, he fabricated over 20 stories, invented sources, locations, times, dates, and companies. wow!
From an educational-point-of-view this movie may highlight some of the people you know and work with and what can be behind those seemingly innocent smiles…
Based on the Pulitzer Prize Winning Play, this movie is an amazingly well acted movie with quite the twist. Addressing the question of how far you should go to confront villains and perpetrators in order to protect the innocent, this movie is riveting and profoundly disturbing at the same time.
The confrontation between the fierce and feisty head teacher (Meryl Streep) and the feminine and progressive head priest, Father Brendan Flynn (Phillip Seymor Hoffman) who is in fact a child-exploiting pedophile.
Full of hidden messages and dire warnings… worth more than one viewing…
Venice, 1570. This movie is about jealousy, betrayal and the scheming manipulations of Iago… who is supposed to be a close friend and trusted advisor.
An intense adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic tragedy about the Moorish general who “loved not wisely, but too well” – and so is duped by his evil aide into thinking that his wife has been unfaithful. As war between Venetians and the Turks rages, Othello weds the beautiful Desdemona and promotes Cassio over his longtime assistant, Iago. Othello prepares to celebrate his marriage, but Iago – insanely jealous over Othello’s snub – has dastardly plans in store.
Iago begins to poison Othello’s mind against Desdemona, claiming that she’s having an affair with Cassio; he even manages to produce “proof” of the infidelity. It doesn’t take long for the jealous general to start believing Iago’s allegations, and he winds up on the path of destruction and gives in to his “dark side” which is perhaps the most chilling aspect of the movie.
Very educational and will have you thinking twice about some peoples intentions and actions…
The purpose of this article is to highlight one of the oldest and most pervasive dramas that exist between men and woman, and to provide a roadmap of what to do to get out of what we refer to as the “plot”.
When we talk of the plot, we are referring to the story or interrelated sequence of events that exists between two or more people. The nature of a plot is that it takes a minimum of two sides in order to exist. When one side decides to exit the plot and takes the necessary steps to do this – the plot can no longer exist. Therefore, if a plot is existing, then both sides are contributing to it.
A relationship is often a complex web of plots that combine into a major theme. Therefore, if you can identify and resolve the major themes, you can experience a quantum leap in your results and level of intimacy.
In an ideal scene both partners would equally develop their masculine and feminine characteristics with one partner utilizing more masculine qualities and the other utilizing more feminine qualities in their expression with each other.
Problems occur in a partnership when one of the partners has not developed or embraced the characteristics of their gender. This forces their partner to compensate by taking on and expressing the opposite characteristics of their gender.
In other words if a man isn’t fully developed in his masculine role, then the woman in the partnership is forced to take on and act out the masculine traits that her partner isn’t owning. On the other hand, when a woman is over-expressing masculine characteristics, then the man is forced to become more effeminate and to under-express their masculine characteristics.
This can show up as a lack of male productivity – resulting in a lower than normal self-worth and a low income. For a man, his self-esteem is directly connected to his sense of productivity.
So if you want to disempower a man, make him feel unproductive. If you want to disempower a woman, make her feel ugly.
The basic masculine and feminine characteristics or qualities are as follows:
| Masculine Qualities | Feminine Qualities |
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To the extent that a person is missing or overdeveloped in any of these qualities, they will draw partners to themselves who play right into their plot!
So the first key to escape this scenario is to look at which of the masculine and feminine characteristics you have developed and are able to express – and which are underdeveloped and unexpressed in you.
The second key, is to look at which of the masculine and feminine characteristics your partner has developed and are able to express – and which are underdeveloped and unexpressed in them.
For example, if both partners are overly competitive – then you will have a partnership that is combative, argumentative and constantly challenging. The solution in this example is not for the man to win the competition, or to back down. This will only lead to a lack of productivity. The most effective solution would be for the woman to stop being competitive with the man, and to focus on supporting him to channel his competitive spirit into an appropriate expression that benefits the partnership.
This is not to say that the woman should not be competitive, or that the man should not be supportive of her competitive expression. What we are saying is that in the partnership, they should not compete with each other!
And finally, if a man is getting all his needs met, is productive, expressive and the woman is not getting her needs met, she will either shut down sexually, or become nagging and controlling. A healthy balance of masculine and feminine characteristics in both partners, with each partner expressing the characteristics of their gender – is the only way to develop and sustain a fulfilling, productive and rewarding partnership.
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
If you are like most people, your feelings about criticism range from mild dislike, strong dislike to outright hatred for the criticism and the person giving it.
There are two main type of criticism; constructive and destructive. The difference between the two comes down to the intention of the critic. If the critic intends to improve something and delivers their criticism with this in mind, then the criticism is often (not always) received differently than when the intention of the critic is to minimize, tear down or destroy.
Criticism is also known as feedback.
The problem for most people is that they have have experienced so much destructive criticism that they can’t tell the difference between the two types and end up reacting to all criticism/feedback and writing it off automatically.
All successful people, public figures and leaders are subject to both types of criticism. Learning to differentiate between the two types and allowing oneself to benefit from the criticism/feedback – without taking it personally is an art and skill developed over time.
More insidious and destructive than any critic you may encounter at work or at home is the one you take with you on a permanent basis – the one inside your head that is known as the “INNER CRITIC”.
The Inner Critic is that part of yourself that criticizes everything you do, doubts what you do, doesn’t think you are good enough, gives you negative thoughts, is cynical, is never satisfied, and is a perfectionist.
Another term for the Inner Critic is the Inner Villain that plays a destructive game with yourself. Once you have disengaged from dramas with other people, you then have the task of disengaging from your own Villain that is making you a Victim to yourself.
As long as you are busy blaming other people for your feelings and circumstances… Your Inner Critic remains invisible to you. So it stands to reason, that when you cease blaming others, you will then become aware of your own self-blame, and inner-criticism. It is your inner-criticism that has you blaming others in the first place.
If you are sensitive to others blaming or criticizing you… Then you have a well developed Inner Critic. It is the Inner Critic that cares what others think about you. It is the Inner Critic that has you feeling hurt by what others say or do.
Once you have dealt with your Inner Critic, you will be less at the effect of other people, and more at cause over all areas of your life.
If you have a fear of rejection… This is a fear born directly from the essence of your Inner Critic.
Technically, the Inner Critic is your shadow-self that is you rejecting you. It is found in the depths of your subconscious mind. The opposite of your Inner Critic is self acceptance, or another way of saying this is your Inner Cheerleader.
When your Inner Critic is beating you up for a mistake you made, you become unsavory to other people. They feel that you are negative and perhaps toxic and therefore will be inclined to reject you. Your Inner Critic seduces the worst behavior from people as it only leaves space for a harmful act or nasty comment. You might as well have a sign on your forehead that says, beat me up, reject me.
It takes a very clear person to see this and not reject you or beat you up. This takes a lot of energy and isn’t fun. So you are no fun to be around (and you can’t stand yourself either.)
So now that we know what the Inner Critic is, how do we deal with it? How do we disengage from it?
The Inner Critic never goes away totally. It always remains in the background… always, and ever listening. So we can disengage from it, but never get rid of it totally.
How do you Disengage your Inner Critic?
Well, the first step is to become consciously aware of when your Inner Critic is at play. Once you are aware of it, your task is to accept your Inner Critic. Once you have fully accepted your Inner Critic, you can then accept yourself.
Self acceptance is the key.
Because two things cannot occupy the same space, the antidote to the Inner Critic is the Inner Cheerleader. So, when you hear negative self talk from the inner critic, thank it for sharing and counter with positive encouragement from your Inner Cheerleader.
If you are with another person, friend or colleague and you notice your Inner Critic is running you, and you are unable to disengage it… Then the best thing to do is time out until you have it under control. This is responsible behavior and puts you more at cause.
The ultimate solution to the Inner Critic is to clean slate the area. This means clearing the areas that created your Inner Critic in the first place. Namely these are things that you have done to others, and things others have done to you.
There is no quick fix to this. It is an ongoing journey that you take with yourself.
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
The purpose of this article is to discuss the subject of shame, its impact on ones life and what steps can be taken to release the feeling of shame and the effects these feelings create.
First, lets look at some definitions:
SHAME: A strong negative emotion that combines feelings of dishonor, unworthiness, and embarrassment.
GUILT: An awareness of having done wrong accompanied by feelings of shame and regret.
REGRET: To feel sorry and sad about something previously done or said that now appears wrong, mistaken, or hurtful to others.
In the Optima Zones, shame is located in the Redzone just above denial which is in the Brownzone. You could say that shame is right on the border between the Redzone and Brownzone.
While shame may appear to be an undesirable emotion, it is vital to the effective functioning of society and is necessary for our individual survival. The purpose of shame is to stop us from engaging in harmful or destructive behavior, and to encourage positive behavior. So when a person has harmful behavior and yet feels no shame, they are very dangerous because there is nothing within them to stop their harmful behavior. These people have no remorse.
Behavior Control
In all human societies shame is used by others to control personal behavior. For example, when a person is caught stealing or telling a lie, they feel ashamed – which acts as a deterrent to prevent the person from stealing or lying again. When the reward of the stolen item or lie is greater than the potential shame of being caught many people will continue their harmful behavior. This conscious wrongdoing has a very destructive effect on ones life by adding shame on top of shame. This is because shame is invoked by wrongdoing in addition to the shame that is invoked by being caught.
The True Cost Is Cumulative
Therefore, the true cost of wrongdoing is the cumulative and compounded feelings of personal shame! The fear of being caught out, and publicly shamed has one committing more cover ups, lies etc and creates cautiousness, conservatism, low confront, slowness and immobility. This traps a person in the Orangezone (fear) and the Redzone (grief and shame) and prevents them from asking for what they want, acting with confidence and creating the realities that they want.
Body shame may have one either physically obsessed or physically lazy, while at the same time they may have no shame around money and therefore may be able to make lots of money (however if they have shame around giving themselves what they want, they may have trouble spending it.)
Shame in too many areas will have a person unable to be successful in any area. Shame in a few areas will cause problems in just a few areas with a small overflow to the other areas.
Live Your Life Without Shame
Living ones life in a way that creates no new shame, and cleaning up all past shame allows a person to create the realities that one wants, to be in the right place at the right time and to be at total cause over ones life.
So what about the people who feel ashamed, and yet do not have conscious memory of wrongdoing? Often this is caused by years of social and cultural conditioning where we are told what is good and bad, right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate, and what we should and shouldn’t do. These are given to us by our parents, family, teachers, media, religion etc. For example, if we have been trained that pre-marital sex is wrong and we engage in pre-marital sex, even though we may consciously think it is OK, we will feel some level of shame. If we withdraw from all things we feel shame around, we would end up living a very limited, at effect life. Therefore, the key to healthy and successful living is to consciously choose and make up our own minds as to what is right from wrong, good from bad, and to choose rightaction of wrongdoing and to educate ourselves in a way that allows us to make educated choices.
Our True Feelings Are Often Hidden In Our Unconscious
The challenge with most feelings of shame, is that they are buried deep in our subconscious and we often have not conscious awareness until the shame is triggered or our results are not what we intended. Many of our behaviors are created by feelings of shame that have us driven in one area and withdrawn from another. For example, if we were a fat child and suffered a lot of ridicule we may as an adult be obsessed with fitness or totally lazy. If our family struggled for money and was out of control, as an adult we may work obsessively and make money in order to avoid the shame of feeling out of control. (one of the benefits of obsessive work and busyness is the avoidance of feeling) It is important to note that even though as an adult we may have corrected the physical cause of the childhood shame (ie going from fat to fit, and poor to rich) we may still have the emotional shame buried in our psyche.
If you have any area of life that is not flowing, and after taking the correct actions no improvement is sustainable, you may find that shame is inhibiting the area.
Here are the steps to healing shame and alleviating its effects:
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
Most people can relate to being in the zone, whatever you are doing is flowing, easy and you feel like you are beyond space and time. Pure magic. Then out of nowhere you are jolted out of the zone. The magic is gone. Your feelings shift from focused spontaneity to annoyance, irritation and possibly anger.
How does this happen? How can you go from being in the zone one moment to being angry the next?
This does not happen on its own. Someone did something that caused the magic-zone you were in the disappear. We call these incidents Anti-Magic, or Anti-Magic Moments.
Here is a short definition:
| Anti-Magic Moment | Anti-Magic Moments are any incidents, upsets or behaviors that are anti-magic (i.e. create an environment that is not safe, harmonious or happy) or actions that are in violation of the companies stated policies, values and procedures and interfere with productivity, orderliness and the ability to do your job well. |
These Anti-Magic incidents cause a lot disharmony in relationships, especially on teams of people working closely together. You could say that Anti-Magic works directly against synergy and is opposing the teams stated purpose and direction.
Research has shown that Anti-Magic incidents are not chance occurrences, they are usually deliberate and sometimes unconscious behaviors of people who are working against you.
Surprised?
These people are more common than you think. Driven by competition, resentment and jealousy, Anti-Magic is used as a weapon to “bring you down to earth”, “put you in your place” or outright dominate you.
People who struggle to get in the zone, can (not always) become jealous and in order to feel better about themselves, sabotage you from your in-the-zone-moment.
Another example is the friendly colleague who is competing with you for a promotion or “top employee” award. If they feel they can’t beat you in an outright competition, sabotage will do. And if you confront them about this, they will say something like “oh, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to do it”.
This is very costly to a businesses bottom line and can explain why some companies and teams only achieve a fraction of their true potential and seem to “snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!”
Now that you are aware of Anti-Magic Moments, and the next time you jolt out of the zone, look for who did what.
What would happen to your overall results if you had a system to identify Anti-Magic and to correct it, thus preventing it from happening repeatedly? More about that in a future article.
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
I believe the fortunate and well-to-do have an obligation to help people who are less fortunate than themselves. Giving money is one thing, giving time another, giving talent even better, however providing inspiration and education… these last a lifetime and spread from person to person. The effects are magnified over time and are long-lasting.
Since as long as I can remember I have felt inspired to make a difference in other peoples’ lives. Travel around the world and you soon see how great the need is.
For many years I thought the path to giving was through sacrifice and self-denial. I realized over time that there must be a middle way between self-sacrifice and self-interest.
What the world needs most is courageous leaders who lead and inspire others. Leaders who are not seduced by the negative aspects of power, leaders who are congruent, are examples for others to follow, leaders who live in integrity and inspire others to do the same.
In 2003, together with Anjou MacPherson, we established the Goldzone Leadership Center as an educational organization dedicated to educate, support and inspire leaders into a new paradigm of leadership. We deliver consulting, training and coaching services via custom build, full-service leadership centers.
In 2009 we established the Goldzone Foundation as a non-profit organization with the mission of promoting; higher values, responsibility, leadership and to inspire individuals to step up to the leadership challenge.
We established this Website (www.renaissanceforleaders.com) to provide information, education and inspiration on a daily basis.
To date, the Goldzone Foundation has not taken outside donations and is 100% funded by Anjou MacPherson and myself.
If you are interested in joining us in this mission – to change the world – by supporting leaders, contact me here:
Love, anger, hate, fear, these are examples of emotions. Most people spend their time chasing emotions they want, and avoiding emotions they don’t want. The trouble with living this way, is that the emotions you are chasing seem to run away faster than you can catch them – and the emotions you are avoiding (or running from) seem to follow you wherever you go!
Research shows that most people make buying decisions emotionally, followed by rational, logical justifications. This means that in order to lead or influence people – you must move them emotionally. This is impossible to do - authentically - if you are not moved emotionally yourself.
What are emotions anyway?
From mid 16th century French, the word e-mo-tion is derived from the Latin word emovere, which means to to excite, to move. Emotions range from feeling nothing or numb, all the way to feeling fully-alive. Emotion could be described as Energy in Motion or in other words it is the energy that creates our motion. It is the fuel that moves us. Just as there are positive and negative flows of electricity, there are positive and negative flows of emotion. You could say this as moving towards, and moving away from.
When we are attracted to something or are feeling enthusiasm – we move towards it. When we are feeling angry – we attack (which moves the target away.) When we are scared – we move away from the potential threat. When we have given up – we go numb. And when we are numb – we have no idea how we feel about anything!
Most of our actions are driven by these known and unknown emotions. How we feel about people, places and events dictates our actions or how we behave.
All emotions involve both a physical and mental component. We feel them physically in our bodies and along with these feelings are packages of thoughts and beliefs. Some people say that the thought creates the feeling, others say that feeling creates the thought. I don’t think it matters which creates the other – as they clearly go together.
Childhood influence
From the time that we were small children, we where taught by people that we loved and trusted that there are “good” emotions and “bad” emotions. For example, we may have been told that anger was OK and joy is not OK. In other families they were told that joy is not OK and anger was OK.
To fully understand the role of emotions in our lives requires us to consider changing this childhood programming, as to what is an OK feeling and what is a not OK. Our judgments of good and bad have us suppressing what we consider to be bad and over-expressing what we consider to be good. Whenever we are over-expressing we are not being authentic and are acting. Acting takes a lot of energy to maintain and can feel to others like hype.
Why can’t I feel?
Whenever we suppress a feeling, it stays locked within us and denies access to our energy, our vital force. This is because emotions are a integral component of our Lifeforce. Whenever we block an emotion from flowing, or don’t allow ourselves to feel it, we are blocking our Lifeforce. It is common for people to suppress unwanted emotions – not realizing that their ability to experience desirable emotions is limited by this same suppression.
To the degree that you can experience the depths of the unwanted emotions – you can also experience the highs of the desirable emotions. For many of us a lifetime of emotional suppression has caused us to “numb out” to how we feel about many of the people and events in our lives. People who are numbed out can act in a way that is harmful to others – because they are disconnected from their own and other peoples feelings.
“Putting up with” has a hidden cost
An example of this numbing effect is when someone “puts up with” a job they hate over a long period. If they do nothing to change the situation they may become numb in order to cope. This numbness can prevent them from connecting with their real passion and can make it difficult for them to start a business, change jobs, or change careers. In fact if you suggest this person consider a new career, you will run into their resistance and lack of motivation. Asking any numb person to change and you will run into the same phenomena.
This does not mean that we should express all our emotions inappropriately, or in a way that infringes on the rights of others. Allowing ourselves to fully experience the emotion will allow it to flow. When our feelings flow, so does our life. When our feelings are blocked our lives are filled with struggle, drama and problems.
Mis-wired emotions
Some people assert that you can’t feel anything unless you choose to. Next time someone purposely stomps on your foot to enjoy your pain, try and remember that! Chances are no matter how calm you are – you will feel angry. If your response is joy and happiness, then you may be suffering from a common affliction of mis-wired emotions – in other words feeling a different emotion than what most people would consider normal.
To share an example of this, a few years ago I attended a funeral where the widow of the deceased was laughing loudly with other family members right before the coffin was lowered into the grave. Most people would find that unusual or abnormal. An appropriate emotion at a funeral would be grief and sadness along with a cocktail of other emotions as the mourners remember the good, the bad and the “other” from the deceased’s life.
Emotional mastery
The mastery and understanding of our emotions is essential to the understanding and mastery of life. So what would happen if people learned about feelings, and their impact on life? What would happen if people listened to their intuition and their emotional natures more and included this input into their decision-making? What would happen if people learned safe ways to express their feelings – rather than suppress them?
We would have happier, more fulfilled, more balanced, more loving societies.
© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.
Andrew John Harrison
Anjou MacPherson
Anjou & Harrison
